Ntonhle Dlamini

It would be this sinless God-man standing in front of me.

Very non judgmental for someone who literally knows everything about me.

And suddenly, it clicked.

Its not shame or a fear of perception.

Its self preservation.

The quest for safety.

That’s why I isolate, its not a social battery that depletes faster than you can say, “amen”.

Neither is it the middle ground between extroversion and introversion, what the experts call,being ambiverted.

Its a deep longing for safety.

That childlike whimsy and playfulness, its not accidental. Safe environments bring out the free and happy child in you.

And I felt it, right here and right now.

His words in this conversation have healed wounds I never knew existed.

In 48 hours His hug-like words have simultaneously addressed my fears, insecurities and identity.

My pride,ego and shame.

To be known is to be seen, which is scary.

Unless the eyes looking at you and into you, are the same eyes that saw you in your mother’s womb,the same eyes that saw Nathaniel under the fig tree.

If its the eyes of Jesus then to be known is to be loved, deeply, unconditionally and unequivocally.

What a delightful thought.